February 18, 2010

The night before, my stomach nudged me with gentle touches of the butterflies. With the clothes that I had selected to wear for the oral examination folded neatly on my chair, under candle light, I sat. Three years of study for this coming moment. “What if I didn’t get in”, I thought, “What if I do get in”. Back and forth it went through all the variations in between. The smell of incense reviving me at every second telling me not to worry for whatever may come, let it come. And so, slightly earlier than usual I went to join the slumbering ones, for tomorrow brings new unknown tidings.

At 6:00am to the sound of All India Radio’s Hindi news blaring from my radio I open my eyes like the quick snap of vertical blinds being suddenly opened. My mind takes a minute second or two to focus and to send the signals to my body. Out of bed I go, with no remembrances of dreams I commence my morning toileting ritual. 6:30am the bell is sounded for morning prayers, most mornings since I have been at Sarah I have attended them, and it feels so normal to me now, but this morning there was something different. It had to have been coming from me; I was heavily weighted but also light. It was dawn; the sun still had another 45 minutes until it crested over the lower easterly side of the mountain range. A few of us sit in the temple reciting a milieu of prayers, refuge to the three jewel, the four immeasurables, which wishes that all sentient beings to be free from suffering, offering of the mandala of the universe, the 21 praises to the Female Buddha Tara, supplications to the Bodhisattva of Wisdom Manjushree, we flow from one prayer to the next in a neat rhythm, half hour later, it is over. We all get in to line for breakfast, the habitual round of Tibetan bread and a cup of tea. Now our day begins.

With my new room on the back side of the top fifth floor, I can sit on my balcony and watch the sunrise. Before the sun pops over the mountain its presence is anticipated by its rays that hit different parts of the snow-clad mountains. The birds are chirping their song; hawks spread their wings proudly searching for the warmth of the terrestrial emitting heat thermals that allows them to soar to greater heights with out much physical expenditure. House swifts, darts in and out of our dormitory, showing off their mastery of aeronautical flight, I take this all in as I think of the exam to come and what it means to me and to life. I water my wild orchid who is still struggling but I have been giving her lots of love so I hope that she will eventually warm up and perk up for me.

On a small white broad, I wrote out the short version of a prayer called “Bar Che Lam Sel” for clearing obstacles from the path. With it written out in front of me, I studied the grammar and the construction used in the composition of the prayer as a way to possibly activate whatever intentions are instilled within it by the author. I recited it slowly, paying attention to the words that made up its meaning. I did this for a good half an hour. Then I got dressed. The day before I went to Gaggal to get shaved, so my face was silky smooth and I, though still very nervous, was ready to get to show on the road. I arrived at the office and several of the other prospective students were waiting outside, a conglomerate of various Asian faces waited me, Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, Taiwan, China, and India, were all represented. 15 of us total, all vying for this opportunity to join the Dialectic School. We were all cordial and friendly; a Brazilian friend of mine gave me a lot of encouragement and gave me a blessing cord that she had received from my root teacher, H.H. Sakya Trizin when she had gone to Dehra Dun to receive his audience during the Losar vacation. Some pictures were taken, as we stood on the veranda in front of the office on this brisk morning, Tibetans students on their way to class were wishing all of us good luck. In fact, throughout the whole morning students had been wishing all of us luck with the exam.

Eventually my name was called, here at Sarah I use my Tibetan name Ngawang Lodoe, so I heard the Secretary say, “Ngawang Lodoe la nang la phe sho”, I was like, alright it’s business time. As I walked in I saw three tables set in a line towards the back of the room, and behind them sat, Gen Lhakpa la, my professor from my first year at Sarah, Gen Gelek la, one of the professors from I.B.D. and Gen Ngawang Dorje la, my orthography/ calligraphy professor for the pass two years. In front of them lay one lonely chair, in a certain way the arrangement made me think that I was going to be court marshaled instead of being interviewed. I sat down, and then it began.

Gen Lhakpa la started by asking me to give a brief introduction of myself. Then he asked me since English is my first language, I corrected him because Spanish is my first language, anyways he said, what did I think the differences between Tibetan and English and/or Spanish. I was like, shoot the differences are huge, and it would have taken me a lot longer than the allotted 15 minutes we are given for the interview to explicate all of it in full, so I gave an extremely brief answer. I felt that due to my nervousness that my Tibetan was choppier than normal, I held the crap of the blessing cord as the examination progressed. I focused all my nervous energy on the cord, which by then was swimming in my palm sweat.

The next question came from Gen Gelek la, he said, “You know that you should not expect to learn all that there is to know about Buddhism in a couple of years, like 2 or 3. It takes many years just to finish the Sutra side of Buddhism, and that is not to mention the study of Tantra, which takes many more years to study, how will you be able to sustain yourself financially through all that study?” I told him, that I am dedicated, that my whole purpose of being at Sarah College since 2007, learning Tibetan and all, was for this course. I have had the syllabus for this course before I even I started Sarah, so I knew that many years are involved. I knew that if I wanted to have an in-depth look into Buddhist philosophy, the long and tedious training that they provide will prepare me for that and place me in a good position for proper translation work. As for how I will sustain myself, I told him that I had a sponsor. Then he asked “Who’s your sponsor?”, and I was able to say with pride that Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche’s Foundation is sponsoring me. “How did you make that connection?” I said my good friend from my first year class at Sarah help me with that.

The next section came from Gen Ngawang Dorje la, he was holding a book and he started by explaining that they wanted to see how our comprehension and reading skills are, so first he will read a random passage and then we are to explicate on that passage’s meaning. I was like, shit! I started getting more and more nervous. My mind to was saying, “I hope that he reads something easy”, over and over again. So he started reading, and I just stared at him, I was like “fuck! I am so done”, besides the first few words I had no idea what he had just read. Like a deer staring into the headlights of an incoming car, I just stared, and then Gen Lhakpa la suddenly said, “Should he read it again?” I was like, damn straight! And Gen Ngawang Dorje La, said “Ok, I will read something easier, I thought that I should start with something difficult and then move to something easier!” Then again he started reading after a few flicks of the pages, and I understood everything he said and on top of that it was a about a subject at that I have studied before in Tsamjor, Tibetan history. I was able to explicate further than what was stated in the passage, pheww! I thought what a relief. Then Gen Ngawang Dorje la, gave me the book to read out loud the exact same passage, I have to say that this was the easiest part, for since I started studying Tibetan in 2004 I have made it a point to always read aloud, so that was a hit.

Gen Lhakpa la, threw out the final question of the exam, “As a student of the Tibetan language here in exile, one encounters many different dialects and accents, what challenges does that bring to the student?” Well hell, I thought, I said that if one is interacting with that person, whose accent/ dialect is difficult to understand regularly then eventually one will get to a point when they will start to understand his/her speech pattern. Since coming to India, I have spoken to folks from all over Tibet, Kham, Amdo, U-tsang, etc and at first it is always difficult. Tibetans themselves struggle with different dialects, so for us international students is harder, but it is not a total blockage to understanding. In Tsamjor, my classmates are from all over Tibet and eventually you just get use to how this particular person speaks. And that was that, my oral examination was over, ten minutes total!

I walked out of that room, called the next person in and unto the veranda where the other applicants were waiting. They fired questions at me, “was it hard?”, “What kind of questions did they ask?” etc… Some got scared that there was a reading component for that was not announced as a something that we will be tested on, so many of them started to practice reading. I wished the others luck and went to my room. As I walked up the stairs, I kept receiving “Good Luck” and “How did it go?” I knew that because I was nervous that I spoke very brokenly and because I did not understand the first passage that Gen Ngawang Dorje la had read that I was worried that I did not do so well. I relaxed for the rest of the day, chatted with friends, and at around dinner time, which is 5:30pm at Sarah, I went to the office to see if the results were out. As soon as I walked in the door of the office, the school warden was the only person in the room. I asked him where the others were and he just points to the bulletin board where the results were posted. Instead of 3 nuns like I originally assumed, they took 4 nuns out of 9 with 1 on the waiting list, meaning that if one or more of them drops out then the nun on the waiting list can join. One Vietnamese nun, one Chinese/Australian nun, one Korean nun, and one Singaporean nun, who had just showed up at Sarah a few months ago, her and her sister were studying at a nunnery for international nuns called Thosamling since January of last year, and came to Sarah maybe around October-Novemberish. Though they joined the beginner’s foundation course both of them spoke decent Tibetan for the amount of time that they have been studying. So her getting in is pretty neat and also a very tiny and cute Vietnamese nun who has been in the foundation course since July, got on the waiting list, which in itself is a huge accomplishment, surpassing others who have been studying for two years. This nun picked up Tibetan rather quickly and though I thought that her chances of getting in were slim, the fact that she got to the waiting list is quite cool. Her name is Nga, and in Tibetan Nga is the word for “I”, so I am always joking with her. On the guys side, there is the topper with 77 out of a possible 90 points, the only Indian student, Kailash, then there is me (Ngawang Lodoe), the only westerner of African decent, at second place with 76.5, Ombak, the youngest one from Taiwan, who flew here just to take the exam and leaves soon to return, at third place with 72, last is the only monk, Tenzin Kunzik from Korean, with 63.5. There was one lay Korean, Tenzin Rabjam, with 71.5, but he is on the waiting list. I think that Tenzin Kunsik got in over the other one for several other reasons beside points. So there you have it, the new international students for the Buddhist Philosophy course. A side note, on that same day Feb 18^th, 2010 on the other side of the globe HHDL met with U.S. President Barack Hussein Obama in the White House.

Through out the past few days, I have been receiving congrats from around the globe, and because of that I have been so happy that so many people believe in me and are happy for me. I thank all of you for sending me your love. I love all of you so very much, please remember this. From amongst the students it has been nice. One of my Tsamjor classmates told me a few days ago, “don’t ever forget that you are a Tsamjor student no matter what, ok?” I think that was his way of telling me to stay humble, to remember where I came from, not to think I am some hot shit now just because I am got into the philosophy course, I appreciated his concern and held it in my heart.

So now the future is ahead, the examination for the prospective Tibetan students is not until the 28^th of Feb at the I.B.D. campus in Mcleod Ganj, and the class probably will not start until after the anniversary of Tibetan Uprising day which is on March 10^th. So that means that we will start with just a month or so of class and then two months summer break for May and June. I will be returning back to the U.S. of A for that time so look for me or give me a holla! I am excited, but also nervous, this course will be very intense the whole way through and there is not easy part to it, memorization and reasoning are the keys to success in this style of course. I hope that the little of debate that I have studied in the pass year will prepare me for what is to come. I have a surface idea on what to expect, but I also know that it is best to have no expectations. I know that I want to do well, that I want to pass my exams. I might totally suck at it, I have not clue at this point. I know that many years of study are ahead of me, and at this point in time I feel that I am ready. We will see as the course commences how it goes.

Wow, I have accomplished an objective, Dialectic School is a wonderful opportunity, and I am soo happy that they deemed me worthy. Now many more objectives are to be accomplished, I hope. I hope to keep all of you up on this new but very ancient learning process, a process that was Tibetanized, but that drew its inspiration from the great debates of old in Ancient India between the various masters and yogis of the Buddhist, Hindu, and Jain traditions. From those and possibly earlier beginnings, I will now join in the learning of this process. My hope is that I can take you along for this ride (without boring you to death, hehehe). Once again, to all of you around the world, I love you all and a hundred and eight thank you.

Pax

To Bring in the New…

I know that I do this every time that I make a new blog entry. First of all, since it has been several months since I have posted one, it makes me wonder if I will have any visitors. The main thing about having a blog is having a constant readership which means one should update regularly. But in my circumstance, due to technology, time and part laziness I don’t have that privilege. So many things have happened and I contemplate what I should view as important enough to or not to mention. For starters, as many of you know I am applying for the Buddhist Dialectics course that is offered every 2 to 3 three years here at Sarah College through the mother school the Institute of Buddhist Dialectics. About three months ago, I wrote my request for an interview, and now I am less than a week away from this very important day. On Feb, 18 I will try to see what the shape of my future will be. I just received the interviewing schedule and I am first on the list. There are 14 interviewees applying for the seats allotted to international students out of whom only 7 will be accepted, 3 nuns and 4 lay or monastic men, or least that is what I have been told. I am the only non-Asian applicant, there are bunch of Vietnamese and Koreans applying, one Indian, and one Chinese, I think. So there is a 50/50 chance of getting in, which I honestly don’t think is too bad. But since I do have doubts, I am still scared shit less. This interview will look out for our Tibetan speaking and listening skill, and our fluency. Each interview will be between 10 to 15 minutes. There are Tibetans applying also but they have a separate application process. So that is a lot, I am full of hope and scared at the same time. For all of you out there I could use all the prayers, luck and wishes that you can muster. It will be so appreciated.

To me this exam will be like a show or proof (in away) of all the hard work that I have placed into learning this language. Tibetan is not an easy language to learn, and Tibetans themselves very rarely show any sense of appreciation to those who attempt to learn their language. At least that has been my experience. From day one, it has been the exact opposite, and because of that I have gotten severely bummed out at times, because I know that I am trying hard, I know that I am not perfect but I am trying. It saddens me to see what the beginning students have to go through. It amazes me at how we have beginning students who have been at Sarah since July who can not even say hello in Tibetan. Now to be fair, a part of it is the students own fault, they do not tend to hanging much if at all with the Tibetan student body, or like don’t do their language drills. But the other half is that the xenophobia at Sarah is so high that an international student does not feel totally free and comfortable to attempt to speak in Tibetan. Especially if they are from the west for naturally when Tibetans see a westerner their first instinct is to speak in English, regardless if that person can speak it or not. For those students this is where the extra challenge for learning Tibetan at Sarah comes. I was lucky in that before a came to Sarah I had a years experience with this phenomenon in McLeod Ganj thatI placed myself in a environment where I could speak the most Tibetan that I could and that was when I lived for six months with a Tibetan family. That was not easy either because when I first moved in they where not accustomed to speaking to me in Tibetan for the first few weeks, even though I always spoke and replied in Tibetan. Finally after being discouraged by that I decided (after getting some advice) I will tell them to speak Tibetan or I wouldn’t pay my rent. Boy, that did it, and since then it has not been a problem. I was amazed though, that I had to go to that extent, that I had to beg for it. Many students are not willing to beg or even acknowledge that they have to. I had this thought wondering if French language students living in France has to beg folks to speak French to them, hmmm?

My first Tibetan teacher from the Cornell Tibetan summer intensive program, Tenzin Thinley la, had warned me about this before I first came to India. He told me that Tibetans in Dharamsala must get used to speaking Tibetan with foreigners, and that I should speak Tibetan regardless if they use English. He said that it will be good for them to learn such things. When I heard this I was quite surprised, because I figured that that should not be a problem for people whose language they are trying preserve. I figure that they will be appreciative of other people, who seriously try to learn, but now I understand what Thinley la meant, and it has saddened me in a way, because I think it might the case why many people give up learning Tibetan after the first year, and Thinley la must have known this from his many years experience of teaching Tibetan in the states.

It is more due to the environment that a language student must deal with rather than the difficulty of the language (which is immense). This is an exile situation, at Sarah for example once you step off campus, you are faced with a totally different language and either you use Hindi if you took the time to learn it, or English. So it is not like living in the country in which the language is spoken. This is India and out side of Sarah and the Tibetan settlements Indian Languages are used. So that makes another challenge which Tibetans don’t see, and then one hears criticism about how bad many international students speak Tibetan.

A few days ago, there was talk on Korean acupuncture done by a Korean acupuncturist who has been at Sarah for a few weeks giving free sessions. He had a Korean nun, from the dialectics course translating for him, and no doubt that she was having a hard time translating and it was difficult to understand. The students around me where saying how bad her Tibetan was, that she should speak better etc. She was around 40 years old when she started learning Tibetan, after she finished the beginners’ language course; she was accepted into the dialectics course. That is no small accomplishment, that course is very difficult and intense, debating difficult philosophical points in a foreign language. We all know that as one gets older it is increasing difficult to learn a new language and this Korean nun totally rocked it out. But was there any appreciation for that, well from what I have seen, no. That fact that her translation was difficult to understand and her Tibetan fluency was lacking is more a reflection of the community that she has been learning from than it is on her, because they are the native speakers, if they actually were easy to engage with. I can recount some many times when trying to start a conversation, and then getting the sense from that person that they don’t want to be seen talking with me because I am foreigner, that awkward silence between quick reply to my questions. Instead of just walking right by you without making eye contact, if there was a sense of comfort that she was speaking the crap out to the language, from day one, being forced to speak by the community, her fluency will be just fine. It is a classic case for finger pointing. We always forget that for that one finger that we are pointing out, those leftover ones are pointing to crux of the matter. I have reflected on this for such a long time, from speaking with beginning students, seeing that this situation is happening to so many who try hard, who have given up their lifestyles, careers, luxuries etc to study this rare and difficult language.

I have mentioned these things to the administration but nothing has come of it. One student tried to set up a space for conversation partners to do a language exchange but that did not seem to have gone anywhere, one of the problems being that most of the beginner’s students being from Korea and Vietnam don’t know English and if they do not very well, which is what got the Tibetan students interested in the first place. For me, with this being my third year at Sarah and my fourth year studying Tibetan, I am comfortable enough in most situations using Tibetan, my reading skills has improved immensely, my reasoning has been improving due a dialectics class I have been taking this academic year in the B.A. program and a Swiss nun, Tenzin Wangmo, who has been so kind to take time from her business schedule of being in the dialectics course to help a few of us in debate.

On the badass, the current college captains, Sarah has a captain for both girls and boys, have been working really hard to create a one-school feeling, by buying sports equipment so that more people can play, and trying to break everyone’s habits of sitting with only those that they know from class or village-mates in the dinning hall. For generally, the Ladakhis, Amdowas, Khampas, and international students tend to eat in their own group without much interaction, and I was so happy to see that the college campus captains ( I am sure due to some insightful nudges from a far-seeing faculty member) took the challenge and the initiative, that as students entering into the dining hall they stood at the entrance telling folks to sit next to someone that they have never sat with before. They arranged the tables and chairs in rolls to break up the clusters of groups that it was. I really hope that it works, since then I have interacted to people that I have seen for three years but never even said hello to. I appreciate the far-seeing hard work that these individuals have taken. Wow, I just felt that I have unloaded a lot. I hope that this unloading doesn’t impede in the reading of this entry.

The current philosophy course which has been at Sarah since I have gotten here had their final exam last week. And now they are completely finished at Sarah and their next class will commenced at the I.B.D mother campus in March up the hill in McLeod Ganj. Thus being the reason why a new class is starting now. I just changed rooms, from the one that I have been for the pass few years on the third floor. Jeremy, an American student in the dialectics course let me take his old room, which is so cool, his room has a fan, nice porch, linoleum on the floor (which I can mop!!!), and a very sad looking wild orchid that a Korean nun from his course had dug out from the surrounding forest and planted in a huge loofah sponge looking thing that one can hang. This new change is so nice, the Tibetan New Year is around the corner, which this year lands on Valentine’s Day (Love, Love, Love), and my future will be decided four days after that, so it is quite a light delightful feeling. Moving helps to breaks old habits, and to starts new (and hopefully) better ones. Environment is everything and this change of environment is great with hope for the future. I have such a badass view of the mountain range and the neighboring village since I am on the top fifth floor.

I would like to mention one more thing; on Friday, Jan 15^th I got to witness the annular solar eclipse, which was so cool. It was partial in this part of India but it was great to see it. The last one I saw was a total solar eclipse that happened my second year of high school in Coral Springs, Florida some 15 years ago. I went to show Jeremy who had never seen a solar eclipse before, when he then recounted a debate he was having with a monk who only knows and holds the Buddhist cosmological view of our world which entails the multilayered Mt. Meru which is surrounded by four continents of the four directions of which our world is the southern Jambudvipa, which in turns is orbited by our sun. So after viewing the eclipse, Jeremy calls the monk with whom he was debating this with and had him check out the eclipse. He did not know what is was at first, but I think he then understood what was going on once it was explained to him. I thought that that was so cool, monks in pass have not gotten a modern education, so when it comes to these things many are completely ignorant. This monk did not freak out that his view of the world was incorrect. He saw the proof, accepted it and moved on. Now for most, one might say, “So what, what the big deal?”; this reminded of an experience I had when I was attending Berea College in my sustainability class, the professor was talking about the age of rocks and how scientist can check it with carbon dating, and one of the girls sitting next to me in my class turns to me and says, “Oh I don’t believe in such non-sense”, and I asked what is there not to believe, she replied, “Our universe is not more than 3,000 years old, that is what it said in the Bible and the bible’s word is the word of God, so this stuff about million year rocks is non-sense!”. My mouth just fell agape in amazement upon hearing this, a college-going intelligent young woman saying such things and on the other hand seeing this traditional educated Tibetan monk who once he saw the proof that his world view was incorrect accepted it with no more of a shrug and smile, both them very dedicated to their faith. That just blew my mind. There is nothing like planetary activity to put things into perspective.

I will end with that note; a new beginning is coming for me and for all I hope. A beginning that brings us all closer to loving each other, loving ourselves, our lives, our preciously short time on this tiny blue spinning ball, our dreams for a better future with understanding and wisdom. A beginning that allows us to think big, way way beyond ourselves. To all out there in the world and beyond: Much Love, ¡Un abrazo muy fuerte!

Pax

Sarah College Girls Gone Wild!!!!

Well not quite, but the title might have caught your eye. So what is this all about? Well it’s about girls, but not only any girls but Tibetan girls with balls, very big balls. The sports scene at Sarah is rather sausage-centric and usually the ladies don't get the chance to participate, particularly when it come down to basketball. I have never been a sports guy; I hated basketball as kid because I always jammed my finger and much rather play with my G.I.Joes. When I first arrived at Sarah many of the guys naturally assumed that I will be great for b-ballin', you know 6'4" and black are the only requirements needed to be a badass baller!

Anyways, as one first realizes as they live and observes the gender dynamics of the school, the male is paid a lot more attention to than the female. Thus, this is reflected in the sporting realm. When I have asked the girls, why they don’t play Basketball? Many have told me that they are either to shy, they don’t know how to play or that the guys always hog the court. You see, the B-ball court is directly in front to the boy's hostel and men being men, when it comes to sports love getting that lovely macho feeling of showing off one's skills that one has bitten off of AND-1 videos from YouTube. My general feeling is that the girls might want to b-ball but really not express it.

At least before they didn't... Two weeks ago Sarah College’s chapter of the Tibetan Youth Congress headed an intercollegiate sport competition with basketball, volleyball and exclusively for the ladies, badminton. There was not mention for a swapping of events were the guys played badminton. On the wall of the food line under the advertisement of the competition was prominently fixed, a poster of Michael Jordan about to dunk on someone, though it was written Mickham Jordan. And so the game went on and it turned out that the Dialecticians were kicking some serious b-ball ass, waylaying any team that stood in their way. As mentioned the girls were regulated to Badminton but that never happen, for so much focus was placed on basketball games.

So it seems that one of the girls but have said, “fuck it”, the girls are going to have their own tourney and a tourney they sure did have. Generally I do not watch the games at Sarah, mainly because being from the NYC projects and all growing up watching some crazy sick street-ballers, watching the Sarah guys trying to imitate them is quite boring, but when it came down to the girls to do their thing the situation totally changed. Now we have to think that most of these girls have never touched a basketball in their lives. So that made the games very intense. Tibetan girls are generally seen as extremely shy and at times frail, but I tell you not these b-balling broads. These girls, though lacking in skill, put so much heart in the game, and that is what to me made these game so exciting.

For these girls of get out there in front of the whole school and though many could hearly even dribble the ball, played with such heart. Many times it got rough, girls getting scratched, steamrolled, smacked, knocked down. The amount of turnovers were high, and one could feel, that yes Tibetan girls are shy, but when it comes down to the wire their warrior blood comes out and they are ready to rip you a new one. Even regardless of the fierceness of the game the girls played as a team, and were extremely courteous. Like if one girl smacked the crap out of another they would immediately apologize and hug. If that would have been some girls from back home it would have been a fight for sure. One girl who is the one who plays quite regularly always shares the ball giving others the chance to get a shot.

I have to some pics of the action but I have misplaced my USB cord for my camera. I am hoping that maybe this will instill motivation in some of the girls to continue to play. One can tell that the few girls who don’t play basketball per-say but will just shoot hoops from time to time, where the girls getting buckets. I hope that the others can see that it is possible to get the court and that they can b-ball. I think that this tourney is quite historic for Sarah, but really I don’t know. Either way what has happened this week was very beautiful, regardless of the skill level.

All kinds of violations were happening on that court, lack of dribbling knowledge, lack of hand-eye-ball coordination, chucking the ball with out any sense of aim whatsoever. On the team of the Himalaya class, consisting mostly of Ladakhi girls, was fierce as hell, they had the school nurse as a player and man this nurse moved like a Mack truck. Any girl that got her way got the shoulder and at times ended of the floor. There were times that my heart stopped as shots were fired. These games have been the most exciting games that I have visited at Sarah and I hope for more to come.

Besides the B-balling, life at Sarah is going good, we had the Tibetan polemically political activist Jamyang Norbu speak which was awesome. I am a fan of his writings so it was great to see him in action, he’s good. Classes are going good and I am really enjoying studying debate. Last night the Buddhist philosophy course had their group debate. Which was exciting, I noticed that I am starting to recognize a bit of what is going, just a bit though. I know that this might be off the mark but I was wondering how it would have been like to study at Plato’s Academy back in Ancient Greece where dialectical debate were the main way of studying. Would it have had any of the intensity that Tibetan debate has? This I wonder….

Pax

Round Three….. Fight!!!

Once again it has been quite a while since I have updated the good ole blog, but here I be. My summer vacation has finished and my third year at Sarah College has commenced. I had a very nice summer, despite my emotional funks that I placed myself concerning the realm of intimacy. But I feel that at least for now that I am on my way to overcoming (hopefully) many of these nuances. I had some help. I friend of mine introduced me to a crystal worker from Australia who surprisingly truly helped me. I have always been suspicious to such things but I was also open to see for self what it is about. I figured that to do this would not be harmful and to my amazement it help. I think that more than anything that it helped to realize how I let myself be carried by destructive thoughts and emotions and it made it an agenda that I need to work on in my life in order to actualize my full potential and to love myself more. I have never been great in the whole self-confidence arena. Thus I am grateful for that.

My summer which I had spent in McLeod Ganj started with visiting the Sikh Mecca the “Golden Temple” in Amritsar, Punjab in which I got to learn about the Sikh religion. What really interested my about Sikhism is it sense of social welfare. Everything at the Golden Temple is run by volunteers (many who have showed up that day) and everything is free. Their kitchen a.k.a rice and dal kitchen is quite an operation. Supposedly they feed thousands of people there everyday, which I do not doubt. One goes in at anytime and can be fed. The kitchen has two storeys and when you show up you are given clean metal plates, bowls and utensils and herded into one of the two dining halls. In the dining hall there are strips of burlap cloths set on the floor where everyone as they enter sits cross-legged. The food is quite delicious though simple, rice and dal, curd, chapattis are the menu items. This kitchen is open 24/7. As one sit and eat you see beggars, rich and poor, backpackers, and Sikhs all sitting together on the same floor eat and sharing together. When one finishes, you’ll see as soon as you leave the dining hall volunteers cutting vegetables, volunteers taking your dirty plates and many washing them in a huge cacophony of metal plates clanging together. It is quite an activated environment.

I and my friends met a devout Sikh named Manu who was more than willing to explain to us the intricacies of Sikhism. The Adi Granth is the name of the main Sikh scripture written in the Punjabi language. Recitation of this text by appointed clergy in very prominent at the Golden Temple. There are many places including the main temple itself where the text is recited. The sounds of these are projected on loudspeakers which one can hear throughout the Temple. Martyrdom is also very big, Manu took us to a place where one of the Great Sikh guru Babadeep Singh in battle was decapitated and continued fight with no head. At this spot where the event happen there is a drawing of him on a horse holding his own head. Sikhism started as a very peaceful faith (and still is) by the first Sikh guru Guru Nanak, with a strong element of Bhakti or intense devotion towards God. But Sikhs were prosecuted, earlier by the various Muslims invaders and then by the British. So the Sikhs took to the sword and the succeeding Sikh gurus were warriors in the defense of their faith and thus as they died in battle their martyrdom became sacred in the eyes of Sikh followers. If you want more info about Sikhism I suggest do some good online searching. The Golden Temple is actually built like a fort; it sits in a huge moat with a walkway that leads over the moat to the heart of the temple where the clergy higher-ups recite the Adi Granth to the tune of tabla drums and harmonium. The outside of the Temple is plated in gold thus its name. The text is in some ways treated like a person; the clergy wake it up and place it to sleep. There are specific conditions in which the texts have to be treated. No dust can fall on it so they have a big cloth draped from the ceiling over it when it is being read. One person is assigned the job of keeping flies off of the text with a fly whisker. When it is put to bed if it is hot they place it in an air conditioned room and if it is too cold they place it in a heated room.

There five things that a Sikh must do or have. Special bracelets, sword or knifes, special undies, not to cuts one hair and thus the turban (which can be quite stylish) and one other thing which I can’t remember know. They are called the five k’s I think because in Punjabi these things all start with the “K” syllabary. And thus you will see many Sikhs at the Golden Temple carrying so very huge and sharp swords and quite impressing turbans and long beards. Like I said earlier their commitment to social service is very impressive.

Beside the Golden Temple we went to the India-Pakistan border to see the closing of the gates. My friend Miryam was quite sick for the ride which took longer than it should have because our rickshawalla’s rickshaw was slow as dirt and we had a bit of a late starts. The rickshawalla was so excited though, I got the impression that he doesn’t receive many foreign customers and thus happy to have some firangis in his care. But the poor rickshaw was not cutting the mustard. Other rickshaws packed with ten some odd folks were flying by us. It is took several seconds just to overtake a bicycle. We did finally make it and it was packed, it was cool. Folks on both sides of the border scream at each. Jai Hindustan “Hail India” on the Indian side and Hail Pakistan on the other. Then you have the soldiers with their hats that have a red crinkled circle over it that reminds me of the red comb of a rooster. They marched with precision steps, turns and high kicks. It was quite a humorous situation. I was glad that I went for sure. At least I can say that I saw Pakistan, hehehe.

The Golden Temple has a hostel or “Gurudwara” where you can stay for free, the foreigners are given their own section in the hostel. I got sick the last day really bad; I think it from drinking a freshly made pineapple juice for a road side stall. After staying in India for a few years, one gets to think that they can do stuff like natives do, nope! Wrong answer! My old belly sounded like an earthquake and I dodged for the toilet. Since it is a communal bathroom in a hostel full of people and I had to wait to use the can. My bowels were in a quite precarious situation that I thought I was going to have an accident. So as I waited I started a little breathing meditation that brought me enough time until I was able to get to the sought after place of refuge. We were leaving that morning and taking a local train to Pathankot which means that it will be packed to the teeth and the chances of having a seat was slim. My friends brought me some Imodium which saved me. But since it was a four hour train ride to Pathankot the Imodium started to wear-off and that rumbling sensation started to arise. The train is packed and there no toilet on this train so I had to hold it. I went back to the meditation of that morning and finally as the train rolled into Pathankot I made a mad dash of the toilet but I was in a quite a spot. If I ran too fast I ran the risk of having an accident, so I found a paced that balanced my bowel meditation with my stride. I swear, I felt like something out of a horrible slap-stick movie, for that last time was such a close call, too close. Anyways, finally we go home to the cool weather of the mountains, the Punjab plains are murderously hot and that was not helping my bowels.

Back in McLeod for the most part a hung out a lot with various groups of folks from all over the world. I made good friend with some U.S. college students who where at Sarah at the beginning of the year and some had moved up to Dharamkot, up the hill for McLeod Ganj and we had a lot of fun together. They have now all departed and I miss them very much. I read a lot also, in what I call a reading binge, which was awesome, I finally got to read 1984, which I loved and Shantaram which a recommend to anyone who is interested in India or not for that matter. I did not just play; I also studied Buddhist Philosophy with an ex-monk who was teaching me how to debate.

Thanks to Palkyi I taught English in a summer camp at T.C.V Gopalpur for six days which went well. I first I was quite apprehensive about doing it, but once I got into it I had fun. Some of my classmates from Sarah College attended Gopalpur and it was great to see the institution. I was helping with an English camp that they set up for the student of the eight grade during a section of their ten day summer vacation. All of the students are orphans and so unlike the students born in India they have no where to go for vacation. So Palkyi signed me up for it and there I was. It was quite a trip. Besides the teaching part which I totally sucked at, I realized that the boys are obsessed with And-1 basketball. They go online and bite moves off of you-tube. Some of these boys even know some b-boying which shocked that crap out of me. There were three other teachers, and for the first two days we were fortunate to have the Tibetan activist poet Tenzin Tsundue with us. That was quite a treat to finally to have met him, he is quite infamous as an Tibet activist and I have seen him many times in McLeod Ganj, but this was a more intimate setting. I was definitely impressed by his “full-power” dedication that he possesses. I also made good friends with Sonam a British/Tibetan girl who was been teaching English at Gopalpur for two or so months.

Now in the present, vacation is over and it is back to school, we are commencing our third week and I think and hoping that this will be the most decisive year of my life. As many of you know I am waiting to take an exam to enter a long term course in Buddhist dialectics that this institution offers every two to three years at Sarah. The course is mainly for monastics but they have seats for four male international students lay and monastics and four for the female students monastics only. I know that on the male side there are at least five potential applicants, me included. Thus there is some tough competition to get in because all of us have been studying and waiting for three years or more for it. The females to do not have it have any easier; I think that they might have more applicants. Anyways I am friends with all the applicants so it makes it slightly awkward to think that I have to be in competition with them. Hopefully the examination will be this spring, if not then it will be next year and that increases the competition. Since I have gotten the approvable for the funding of my tuition for this course by Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, I am a bit worried that if I do not get in, what to do? I am hoping for the best, pretty much that I get in. Some of you all out there who pray please send some of your prayers in my direction, for this will guide my life to the achievement of a dream that I truly believe that will enable me to truly be of assistance to many far beyond my fleshly life.

I am in a quite intensive study routine, I have four classes. Two Dharma classes, where I am studying “Nagarjuna’s Letter to a friend” in Tsamjor or Bridge course and “A guide to the Bodhisattva’s way of life”, “Bodhisatvaacaryavatara” by Shantideva and “Collected topics” in the first level Rigne course. Orthography and history in Tsamjor and grammar self-study working through “Translating Buddhism from Tibetan and the 11^th Situ Rinpoche’s commentary on the Grammar treatise called the “Thirty Stanzas” composed by the establisher of the Tibetan classical language Thumi Sambhota. Also I study Hindi on the side. So this makes it for quite an intense studying schedule. All of my classes our taught by experts in their craft and they throw so much information at you that I am surprise at how well many Tibetans are able to assimilate the data. A lot of it I think comes from learning in this fashion since they have been young, but it requires one to memorize new information constantly. I am impressed by all of my professor’s capacity of holding data, since I am quite new at this way of learning I am hoping that I will get the hang of it plus it will be well used once I am in the dialectics course.

My favorite class so far is the collected topics course; “collected topics” are a name of a genre of logic texts that traditionally the young novice monks used to learn how to debate. In Tibetan they are called “dudra” or “rigs lam”. “Rigs” means reasoning and “lam” means path and thus you have the path of reasoning. Tibetan Buddhist, who inherited this logic tradition from the Indian Buddhist but with their own style, places a huge amount of their training on logic. Particularly in the Geluk School, debate and logic is the main pedagogy for learning Dharma. These days the HHDL has advocated that the T.C.V students should learn at least dudra to help develop the student’s analytical faculties. When I was at Gopalpur, to one class I told the students that I am just beginning my studies in debate, immediately they all at once started throwing syllogisms and consequences at me at rapid-fire speeds. In our Collected Topics course we debate twice a week. We have debated together once, and since most of us did not know what was going on, we just watched and listened to the ex-monks, and monks who have been doing it since they were young go to town. It is quite a loud event as I has described in earlier blog entries. Though there is a lot stuff that needs to be learn, I think that the debate studies that I did this past summer will help me in learning and hopefully putting me on my way to the path of reasoning. I am so happy to have the quality of professors that we have though their teaching style is very different from what we are used to in an academic situation in the U.S.

In my mind these days there are aspirations for hope and for the fulfillment of my life dream. I wish the same for all people. I hope that many will realized that their own potential and strive towards it. At their potential will assist many others across boundaries. Through I am no where near being able to help others at least point, now l make it a point to think and reflect upon the idea throughout my day . I hope the same and more for others. I would not have gotten where I am now if it was not for others, and everyone should think about that in their own lives. If we all worked in such a fashion how much better will our life be as a global community. Anyways, much love from the not so monsoony Himalayas.

Pax